


Regrets

by GABurke1895



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: End of game spoilers, No Trespasser Spoilers, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 10:31:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17702699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GABurke1895/pseuds/GABurke1895
Summary: Solas left behind a mural for the Inquisitor, everyone knows that!So why is she only now staring at it as if it will reveal the Maker’s secrets?Maybe it will....





	Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> Please forgive any OOC moments! I tried to stay true to characters and plot.
> 
> It’s 3 AM and every time I finish DA: Inquisition I get upset at Solas so I needed to vent a little.

“Has anyone seen the Inquisitior?” All eyes turned to Cullen as he strode into the War Room. Josephine and Morrigan shook their heads while Leliana seemed concerned.

 

“Is she not in her tower?” Leliana asked, “She’s being keeping to her room more often of late. My agents haven’t mentioned any odd behavior, either.”

 

“I’ve looked in all her normal places:the tavern, her room, the garden, that little study next to the kitchens. This was my last resort.”

 

“I’ll send my scouts around Skyhold. Cullen check the library, see what Dorian knows, and Josephine see if she’s in the undercroft again. I’ll check the prison and the ramparts,” Leliana decided.

 

“Let us just hope she has not gone to Val Royeaux on her own like last time,” Josephine sighed.

 

The advisors all nodded and splintered off to go find their wayward leader, again. She had a bad habit of disappearing before she made any major decisions. Everyone in Skyhold remembered the day she’d disappeared to her dusty little study. It had been right before the big face-off with Corypheus. Apparently she’d woken up before anyone else, dodged all of the servants and scouts, and spent the entire day desperately searching for anything that might help her against Corypheus or would protect her people.

 

When lunchtime came and went with no Inquisitor, her advisors started to worry. By sundown, her companions started a discreet yet slightly frantic search for her. By dinner, Cullen was in full blown panic mode and all of Skyhold was desperately looking for her. It wasn’t until Cassandra ripped open the door to her then-secret study, loudly praised the Maker, and dragged her up into the main hall that she even realized how long she’d been gone. All of Skyhold breathed in relief. Leliana still swears she never cried that day, though Josephine knows better, and Cullen refused to leave her side for the rest of the night.

 

Cullen swears his love is going to be the death of him one day. Or at least the cause of his premature graying. With a little luck, she’d be in the library and he won’t have to tear Skyhold apart again. However, luck has never really been on his side as was evident when Varric blocked the door to the library.

 

“Please move, Varric. I’m looking for the Inquisitor.”

 

“I know, which is why I’m standing here, Curly.” At Cullen’s confused and slightly irritated look, Varric explained, “Look, I know you want to talk to her but I think you need to hear me out first. Something’s bugging her, bad. So if you go in there I suggest you be prepared. I didn’t nickname her Rosy because she’s pretty.”

 

“Since when did you do that? And what do you mean by ‘bugging her’?”

 

“Since the day I saw her treating wounded soldiers only to turn around and launch a knife into a Venatori’s throat. But that’s beside the point! Right now, she’s staring at the mural that Chuckles started and has been for hours. You should probably talk to Dorian first, he’s been keeping an eye on her, too.” Varric tilted his head in the direction of the stairs leading directly up to the library.

 

Cullen found Dorian leaning on the railing overlooking the mural, watching the Inquisitor’s still back. The mage barely twitched when he was joined by the Commander. He looked at Cullen, held a finger to his lips and tilted his head, indicating they should step back to the alcove to talk.

 

“She’s been there all day. She hasn’t eaten or moved at all and it’s getting worrisome,” Dorian vented quietly.

 

“Do you know what could be bothering her?”

 

“Not a clue, unfortunately. She came in from the main hall like normal so we could have lunch but something about the mural made her stop dead in her tracks. She sat down where Solas used to keep that desk of his and just stared. A couple scouts have tried to bring her reports but they’ve all been ignored, hence the pile of papers just strewn about her like offerings.”

 

“Is there something wrong with the mural? Is that why she’s staring at it?”

 

“Not that I could tell. It doesn’t look much different to me. Maybe she remembered that he’s still missing and it’s hitting her harder,” Dorian suggested.

 

“Maybe. I should go to her,” Cullen said as he turned towards the stairs.

 

“Be careful, Commander. While scars do have a certain sexiness to them, I doubt our Inquisitor would be overjoyed if you lost an eye.”

 

_Maker, I know she can hold her own but she can’t be THAT dangerous, right?_ Cullen thought. His disbelief must have shown on his face because Dorian laughed quietly.

 

“She’s faced down high dragons, crazy cultists, demons, and a darkspawn magister. She’s walked the Fade in the flesh multiple times. _Fasta vass_ , she’s had a mountain fall on her and she lived with only some scrapes and bruises! Yes, she’s dangerous, Commander.”

 

Cullen’s eyes went wide as Dorian reminded him of just how much the Inquisitor had gone through in such a short time. He nodded at the mage’s declaration. The woman he loved was dangerous indeed. In any case, he should at least be there when she was ready to talk, dangerous or not. He took the stairs down to her but approached her slowly, also taking care to stay in her line of sight. Gingerly, he sat beside her not quite touching but close enough she could feel his warmth. She smiled softly and glanced at him.

 

“They tell me you’ve been here a while. I figured I might come keep you company,” he explained with a small smile of his own. The Inquisitor kept her head turned towards the wall, barely moving as she whispered to him.

 

“Oh yes, and ‘they’ are all currently taking bets to see what will happen next. Dorian, Bull, and Varric know well enough that I don’t like being snuck up on so they’re all betting when I come out of my haze I’m going to hit you out of fright. Bull thinks you’ll be able to take my punch while Dorian thinks you’ll whine. Vivienne, Josie, Blackwall and Cassandra will say I’ll continue to ignore you. Leliana and Cole already know I’m speaking to you. Sera thinks I’m going to drag you away to ravish you. Morrigan isn’t taking part.”

 

Cullen looked dumbfounded as the Inquisitor finally turned to look at him before using her eyes to point to the balcony behind them. All her companions were congregated aside from Morrigan, Leliana, and Cole, just as she’d said. He looked back to her and she merely shrugged.

 

“I’ve been through hell and back with them all. Believe me when I say, I know them better than they know themselves sometimes.” Cullen looked at her in awe. “Also I could hear them whispering,” she answered his unasked question before turning to the group behind them, “Bull, Dorian, Varric you three should know better than to bet against me by now! You all might as well come down now that you’ve gotten Cullen to do your dirty work. You too Leliana I know you’re up there!”

 

“Wait, what?” Cullen asked.

 

Grumbles could be heard as everyone shuffled down into the room. The Inquisitor stood and brushed off her trousers, collecting the discarded reports so they wouldn’t be trampled upon. Cullen stood as well and stared in confusion at the group before them.

 

“So if I’m understanding this correctly, everyone knew where you were, they just didn’t want to disturb you?”

 

The Inquisitor nodded along with the group.

 

“Because they were scared you might accidentally attack whoever did?”

 

More nods.

 

“And I was everyone’s sacrifice?”

 

Even more guilty nods. Cullen turned to Leliana and Josephine.

 

“Even you two?”

 

“I’m so sorry, Cullen! But I know how she gets and I knew she’d never harm you so,” Josephine started.

 

“We took a calculated risk, Commander,” Leliana finished. Cullen looked absolutely betrayed. He turned back to the Inquisitor, hoping for sympathy, but found she had already turned back to the wall.

 

“Moving on! Have you all noticed the difference in the mural?” The Inquisitor asked, continuing when everyone shook their heads, “Its finished,” She stated it so simply, yet everyone merely stared at her.

 

“Hasn’t it always been so, my dear?” Vivienne wondered.

 

“No, that’s just it! Before there was only a rough outline of a wolf and a sword and this is completely different. Solas was the one completing the mural as a way to tell the story of the Inquisition. I asked him about it one time and he said ‘so that your deeds are recorded correctly and more permanently than mere words’.”

 

“Is it possible someone else finished it in his place?” Leliana offered.

 

“Impossible, he used a method that ancient elves used to use in their temples. He said he’d learned how to do it on one of his journeys to the Fade. No one else in Skyhold knows how!”

 

“Darling, are you saying Solas snuck into Skyhold to finish a painting and then run off again?” Dorian asked.

 

“He could’ve finished it before he left, Boss,” Bull added.

 

“No, this design is recent. He’s been here, I know he has! I promised I’d find him and I will! If he came back to finish this mural, make changes to it, maybe he hasn’t really left after all. He could still come back,” her voice cracked in the end. Cullen came forward to hold her close as she cried.

 

“It’s been months, Rosy. If he wanted to come back, I’m sure he would’ve by now,” Varric attempted to reason. “But hey, maybe Chuckles is trying to send you a sign!”

 

“It feels warm and kind,” Cole said quietly, his sudden appearance making several people jump. “The rest of the painting feels hopeful and sad. This new part feels gentle and warm but also filled with regret.”

 

“What do you mean, Cole? Do you mean the paintings make you feel that way or....?” The Inquisitor sniffled as she fished for an answer.

 

“No, it’s his feelings, Solas’ feelings. I think he was happy when he painted this but also sad that things are the way they are. I think he very much would have wanted to show you this himself,” Cole explained.

 

The Inquisitor moved away from Cullen to touch the painting. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine what Cole had said. She sighed deeply, sinking to her knees in defeat. No matter how hard she tried, the only thing she could feel was grief over losing her dear friend.

 

“Rosy,” Varric said as he put his hand on her shoulder. “I say take it as a sign. If he came back to paint this, he must still think of you as someone important to him. I mean this thing is a masterpiece!”

 

“Varric’s right you know,” Dorian agreed even as everyone turned to stare at him. “Yes, alright, it’s rare but it happens! Darling just look at how lovely you look!”

 

“Agreed, my dear. While I can’t say anything meritorious about facial details in elven murals, Solas did manage to capture your essence almost perfectly!” Vivienne gushed.

 

“You really don’t even need the face to know that it’s you,” Blackwall added.

 

“What’s with the dress? You din’t even wear one to that big party for the Empress What’s-Her-Face,” Sera asked.

 

“It almost looks like Andraste’s white dress,” Cassandra said. “It’s possibly because you are called the ‘Herald of Andraste’ that Solas chose to depict you like Andraste.”

 

“With a few notable exceptions I see. The dark hair is obvious. My hands look like I’m cradling the Anchor, protecting it. And look here! How he painted each and every one of you, too,” The Inquisitor pointed out.

 

“I would like to know how he managed to evade my agents, myself included, long enough to paint this. How did we miss him?” Leliana groused.

 

“You all used to misplace me every other week,” The Inquisitor sassed.

 

Leliana sulked silently in her own way before going back to examine the mural with everyone else. The Inquisitor noticed something else upon closer inspection that she hadn’t seen before. Hidden in the crowd of companions painted at her feet, was an elven figure wearing a wolf pelt.

 

_I will find you_ , she thought. _I don’t know what you’re doing out there but I don’t want to leave it like this._

**Author's Note:**

> I miss my eggcellent mage


End file.
